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Friday, August 31, 2007

Ram Gopal Varma Ki Aag - Ek Ganda Mazaaq, Dimaak Kharaab !

Rating - 1/10

Desecration - Thats the only word that pops up when you talk about this appaling movie. Its single most disgusting remake in the history of remakes. The remake of Don would look like a master piece once you watch this piece of crap. I think RGVarma has played the most elaborate, heavily hyped piece of joke on Indian cinema's most loved film. I dont think RGV loves the film as he claims. I think he hates its guts. I think he had a mission of taking this classic piece by piece and shredding each piece into smaller ones and then burning them. I think he took Dharam Paaji's dialogue "Chun Chun Ke Maarungaa" to heart and then violated each and every memorable scene from Sholay.

I have also taken this dialogue of Veeru as my motto, so lets begin the pillage. Where should I start? Should I tell you about how every character is converted into a caricature? Or should I tell you about the amateurish camerawork? Or should I tell you how RGV hasnt spent any money on anything(maybe he knew that after the first day, his movie wud be spat on!) Or should I tell you about the awefully picturised songs? Or should I start with the disgusting direction? Or should I tell you about the woeful locations ?Leave these aside, less talked about these aspects, the better. Coz I have some choice words to explain my mental condition at this point!

Lets talk about Gabbar - converted to Babban. What were you thinking Amitabh. By now we have established that RGV was playing this cruel joke or maybe he has gone completely whacko, but what happened to you Amitabh? How could you play this glorified idiot called Babban, who barks more than he bites. Babban is a buffoon, who keeps running after every interaction with the 2 hero's( you wonder how there cud be 100 crores spent on catching this idiot by the police). His gang is the most useless and ugly one you would ever see. Sambha turned Tambe played by Sushant Singh is converted into a bull doggish, gun wagging doggy, who has no expression.

Then Jai and Veeru are turned into Raj and Heero! Ajay devgan plays the playboy Heero and Prashant raj plays the straight faced Raj. Both these original characters have been massacared. Raj - has practicaly no role and I now know why RGV chose this new comer who cannot act and has a horrendous voice for this role! The Ajay - what were you thinking? We thot you had turned into an intelligent actor with class, but Dharam paaji would have winced at every dialogue of your character! The real culprit is director RGV. These heros arent given any background. They turn up in Mumbai and meet their weird friend, who gives them a job. They are village idiots who do not know that they r working or gangsters but when they are working with the police, they shoot AK 57's and 67's and the works with ease. Boy oh Boy, u wud cry when u see the famous scenes where Jai goes for veeru's rishta or when you see that famous suiside scene turned into mindless crap. Utter crap. Half the people are crying because they cant bare it or are laughing their guts out at the sheer stupidity.

Then comes Thakur - turned into Narasimha. Boss tell me what is a malyali inspector doing in a maharshtrian set up? whats happening here? He talks with this deadly accent, but his whole family talks spick and span Hindi. Whats this guys background? Didnt RGV pay attanetion to anything? When you see Narasimha running around red faced weilding his gun and killing people in rage, you wonder which era are you in? Have we gone back to the 80's? RGV cudnt even show cut fingers and hence gives Narasimha a kurta that has amazingly long sleeves. they look disproportionate and you know that Mohanlal's hands end much before the sleeve ends! Even a school play director would have been more innovative. You pity Mohanlal, a great actor being converted into this constipated constable oops cop!!!

Nisha Kothari as ghungroo has her moments but again she over does it. The most restrained acting is by Sushmita and her face shows that fire burning inside a widow. The other legendary characters are murdered by RGV even more brutally. Also Urmila, is potrayed in such a vulgur fashion that you wince. Aesthetics is something RGV does not care for. RGV cudnt even show a proper village or town. He had probably decided to shoot the film in 5 to 6 locations max. The whole feel of Sholay is beaten black and blue by this film. There is no sense in any scene. Its utter garbage. By this time I have used up almost all the derogatory words I cud use, but the fire (Aag) inside me isnt pacified.

RGV you have certainly given a big jolt to all fim lovers and I think RGV has completely lost it. I dont know how would people ever forgive RGV for this, he has probably nailed his own coffin. Ramesh Sippy must be rolling in his grave with rage! If you wanna see how you butcher a classic, go ahead, make RGV's day and watch this Ganda Mazaaq...


Anonymous said...

I must say, mistake is urs poor man. The things you ooozed with all the possible vocabulary, was very much obvious in the B-Class trailors itself. Anyway, it was ur call!!!

Virinder Urf Funda-Mentor said...

I agree... I accept blame... Forgive me for expecting more from a director who has given Satya! anyways.. I agree.,I hit the hammer on my own foot!

VishAll said...

Vicks even though I want to sympathize with you I just can't buddy...Have to 100% agree with Anonymous here. But I guess you Film Reviewers hve to go thru these tough times.
Lekin...no point asking Maafi...
Iski Sazaa Milegi...Barabar Milegi..hmmm

Virinder Urf Funda-Mentor said...

hahahahaha :)aur kitni sazaa milegi!!!

gurukool said...

Vicky paaji i fully sympthatise wid u.....n thank u 4 takin RGV's AAG front on and warnin us, truly a friend in need is a friend indeed.....
Iski Sazaa Milegi ...... Barabar Milegi aur Sazaa hai ki tujhe BHAWANDAR do bar dekhni hogi, AAG ke nightmares se bach ne ke liye....hahahaaaaaa........

Pavan said...

Very generous of u Vicky to give 1 out of 10 to RGV ki AAG.
Anyways every1 has criticised the movie so much, that i need to watch the film when it comes on TV.
And i bet every1 who have not gone and watched the film in theatres will definitely watch it when it comes on TV. Which means actually the movie is not that bad!!

AksFilmi said...

Hi Viru Great Review As u left on my message on Filmikhabar .I really Appericate ur writing skills ,Im really impressed by this blog it wud be great if u can join as co author at filmikhabar one of the best blogs on bollywood its really doing gud Well I can Contribute Lot on bollywood news and happening as ur blog is more of Reviews dicussion Sure ll participate

jst visit this www.filmikhabar.com and apply for membership

It wud be great as u can share all ur reviews @ better platform -if u can contact me further i have few thgts with u

Gud Efforts Viru Always Keep writing God bless u

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