Monday, February 15, 2010
A film by Karan Johar, starring Shah Rukh is something I really look forward to. It gives me a perfect opportunity to go to the theater with my friends, buy a lot of popcorn, and then laugh my guts out at each emotional scene. What makes it even more special is to irritate the hell out of the neighboring people. I still remember how I burst out laughing in the climax scene of Kuch Kuch Hota hai, and the man besides me, who was apparently wiping a tear with his handkerchief, just looked at me, got up and watched the rest of the movie standing in the aisle.
With all the controversy surrounding the movie, I wanted to see if this film is even worth half the attention the media is according it. So I went to the theater with a friend of mine who is an SRK fan. So I had deliberately put myself in a position where I couldn’t fall off the chair laughing on the floor.
I watched the film, and was lost for words. So I did the next best thing. I got Rizvan Khan, the protagonist of the film to write his views :
Hi, My Name is Khan, and I am trying too hard! I suffer from ASS-par-GAS syndrome. No, I don’t have a bad stomach; it’s just a mental disorder!! I want to let you know that the director was very kind to me. He gave me a role of a life time. When he told me that 9/11 was the central theme, I said "no no no ,, no no no - again 9/11? After New York, Kurbaan and countless others, wouldn’t it be too repetitive." Karan said "That’s why you are the hero! That’s novel no? Yes yes. Having a challenged person in challenging situations was the challenge!
When I read my lines, I did not understand many of them. I was not only naive and took things literally, but I was also a smart ass. I did not understand why? Why was it that all jokes had to come from me? The pressure of delivering one joke after another, started showing on my haggard face. Only my brother's (Jimmy Shergil) beauty products helped me in my journey to meet the president of United states.
While the local police failed to solve a case of a simple accidental murder of my son in school, I set out for a journey of months across the United States. Also, I must admit the FBI's investigations do not match even the local television standards. While the correspondents found out my family history, the FBI could not even understand my mentally challenged condition! Though I am as confused about a few other things like how I managed to walk miles without food or water, how I never grew a beard, how my hair never grew, how my clothes remained spotless white as I travelled in buses, trains, roads, deserts, also how I managed to catch a bus to easily reach a Tornado hit location.
When I asked few questions, my Director told me not to worry. No No No No No , Not to worry. Ha Ha Ha. He said that the audience didn’t care for logic! They wanted to be manipulated emotionally scene after scene. When I asked him if we were making a comedy, he said no this was sensible cinema! I seem to forget what sense is all about, but then I do suffer from this condition you know!
Director asked me to learn to love Sam - my son and Ham - my technique. I had to ham through the film, though I did try to be subtle this time around! He also asked me to learn Hum Hongay Kaamyaab. I had to sing it at all possible supposedly inspiring scenes, like when I remembered my son after his death, or when I saved Hurricane Katrina victims or when Mandira told me her sob story. Though I sung well, I told Mandira (Kajol) not to sing. She is a good actress, but I must admit she did go a little overboard with her beaming grim and extra loud screaming cry. And by Overboard I do not mean jumping off into the water from a boat, no no no no no ! Also, I still do not understand why did she marry me? She could have maybe, adopted me. But why did she marry me? Maybe my dimples impressed her. Mummy (Zarina Wahab) said Love defies logic and Mandira’s, surely did.
I am particularly happy with the acting of all the cast, though I did manage to hog almost 90% of screen time. I must admit that even mummy did not allow me to hog this much, no no no no no. They made me work really hard. If I wasn’t there in the scene, my voice-over managed to ensure my presence. Also, I was happy with the travelling as I got to visit so many beautiful locations and I must say the film looks very good - very much like my Mandira after applying my brother’s beauty products!
When I saw the film, I was confused. Childhood is the best part of life and so was mine in the film. It’s only after I grew up and left for the US that I started getting confused. I was also tired. I had not only endured Asperges, the Hindu-Muslim riots of 83, but went onto suffer post 9/11 hatred, death of my child, travelled thousands of miles, endured police beating, FBI harassment, helped Hurricane Katrina victims and so on a so fortieth! But finally, I had met Mr.President.
And Mr.Director is very intelligent. When I told him I am confused. He said No No No No No. Don’t be confused, this film will break records. I quickly hid all mine, especially Micheal Jackson’s records! When Director explained what he meant, I got even more confused. And then he said that since I was Khan and I knew only good and bad people, I should say this in public with reference to our Neighbors. In my childhood, mummy had drawn a diagram of a man with a bat in hand and said he was neither Muslim nor Hindu, he was a batsman. As I knew only the neighbor’s cricket team, I said they were good. And the rest fell in place!!!
Rizvan Khan left me to say a few words in the end.
Though Shah Rukh was sincere in the film, it was the irritating knack of Johar to make “HAM and CHEESE” scenes which really put me off. Either someone Hams in a scene or its too Cheesy !! This films not for me, but it does have its moments. This one is somewhere between Kurbaan (vomit) and New York(nice) for me. But then, as I am a world famous for not liking SRK, JOHAR , I would suggest watch this film and judge. The publicity campaign has turned out to be a necessity rather than just being fortuitous!
Rating : 5 / 10 ( For SRK’ sincerity and control on his hamming, plus some good camera work, good production value and a couple of good songs )