Race (pehle FACE dhoke aaiye)

Rating: (1/5)


Alright, I fell for it (rather IN it). The reason I went for this movie was friends. Dost kya kahenge 'India gaya aur ek Hindi movie bhi nahi dekha'. So, despite stiff resistance from within, I decided to take a positive frame of mind (which means dimaag ghar pe rakhke jaao) and a couple of "movie theek hai's" to the movie. Okay about the movie. No, wait: first about the plot. Hang on, lets begin by playing 'Abbas Mustan' here. I'm trying to understand their psyche here. Okay I'm Abbas (and Mustan too).

3 months ago, somewhere in south Mumbai::
Abbas: Hey Mustan, lets take 3 heroes and 3 heroines for our next project.
Mustan: Abbas bhai, awesome idea. But what about the script.
Abbas: Lets take Saif, Akshaye and Anil as actors and Bips, Katz and Sam as the actresses.
Mustan: Perfect. But, have you thought about a subject?
Abbas: Lets shoot in the exotic locales of South Africa.
Mustan: Should do. But(almost given up), will the movie have a script.
Abbas: Arre kya bhai....6 characters and 2.5 hours movie. Introduction of all characters itself will occupy 20 mins easily. May go up to 30 mins if shot in slo-mo. 6 songs will occupy another half an hour. Half an hour action scenes and stunts. All we now have is an hour to go Mustan bhai. Since there are 6 characters, we'll pair up characters and form groups and pit these groups against each other, thus confusing the audience. Busss, movie khallas.
Mustan: Wow, sure HIT hai bhai

Okay, so psyche, motto and mission understood. With that, lets cut to the plot. Ranvir(Saif) and Rajiv(Akshaye) are step brothers, one a go-getter, the other an alcoholic and a loser. An upcoming model(Bips) who woos Ranvir and an attractive secretary(Katz) are here for company. So, the flow goes with the 2 brothers fighting for each others lives and deceit with the 2 lasses switching sides (with beds too). A crime takes place and cop RD (Anil) and his dumb secretary (Sameera) trying getting to the bottom of it. I would not like to divulge in more details as there's not much to say. There was a very interesting question that was eating my brains. Why does a narrator have to explain each character in the movie with his profession, motives etc in Hindi movies? Cant these characters evolve as the actors speak (or rather, act)? One hour into this movie and I got my answer. Coz, all of them are actually characterless. Hence, its very difficult for an average movie-goer to understand the character just by his acting is almost impossible. So, smart move.

A couple of songs in the movie are good whereas the others seem like music video like the 'Baby Doll' albums.

Now about the actors:
Saif: Talks less, poses more. Ranvie is decently potrayed by Saif and turns out to be one of the few plusses for the movie.
Bips: Ahh, hot body and decent acting.
Katz: Still learning to act.
Akshaye: Disappointing. Acts as if the director duo is still shooting for 'Humraaz'.
Anil: Hams through the role with inane jokes and not-so-wisecracks galore.
Sameera: The lesser said the better.

All in all, I'd rather watch an F1 race on a Sunday evening with my family/friends rather than watching this farce with my girlfriend (even if I'm offered corner seats).

Bipasha baby, your HEART might be RACING but my HEAD is ACHING re:((